Gift Giving and ADHD: Baseballs and Barbies

Do you remember the worst Christmas orincreasing concentration skills.For the child who has
Chanukah gift you ever got as a kid? I do. It wasfine motor issues, think about art supplies or art
a giant, metal, realistic looking stove that had akits. Most kids love making projects or playing
real door that opened and little pots and pans, awith clay. Just make sure you emphasize the
spoon and a spatula. I must have been all of 7pleasure in the process of making art, not in the
years old or so, and when I pulled it out of thefinal project.If your child has sensory issues she
box, I nearly burst into tears. At that time in mymay tend to shun away from physical contact,
life, all I was interested in were realistic dolls,loud noises, and even find it painful to be in places
Nancy Drew books and board games. I wantedwhere there are too many people. Certain food
nothing to do with cooking even back then. Itextures can be irritating, let alone those tags on
suppose one's personality doesn't really changethe back of her clothes. Occupational therapists
much with age, after all!With the holiday seasonhave long used beanbags to help children with
upon us, think back upon your own childhood andthese sorts of problems. In particular, they seem
reflect on what presents you loved theto be helpful in calming the hyperactive, irritable
most--and which you despised. My guess is thatchild because of the compression it lends to them.
some of the ones you hated were those whereYou may find that your child even enjoys quiet
the giver had hopes of transforming you intoactivities, such as reading and (gasp!) doing
something you were not. The non-athletic wouldhomework while resting on one.Younger children
get the baseball bats. The tomboys, the Barbiewith sensory problems tend to enjoy all kinds of
dolls.In many cases, ADHD kids have already hadsand play. Purchasing some large bins and filling
their fill of feeling they've let others--andthem with sand, then hiding small items like
themselves--down. School is often a struggle, asmarbles, miniature plastic animals, etc., can be a
are social situations. Many have difficulty playinggreat way to help kids overcome their tactile
quietly. Others have problems regulating theirdefensiveness. They'll have so much fun, they
emotions.When picking out gifts for yourwon't even know it's good for them!Another idea
youngsters, consider choosing things you knowfor your hyperactive child (if you're up for it) is a
they will truly like--not things you *wish* theyfamily pet. A child who is hyperactive may find
would enjoy. Emphasize their strengths--heck,that owning a kitten will actually calm her down by
they hear about their areas of weakness allnurturing it. Show her how to handle the kitten
through the school year!If they love being on thecarefully, and give her as many responsibilities for
computer, this is the time to spoil them with newits care as possible. Most children will try hard to
software. Does your daughter love rock music?be gentle with a small animal, and can learn to
Give her a subscription to a teen magazine.modulate their own activity level in order to keep
Consider buying your athletic child a newthe kitten calm.With a little bit of forethought,
basketball or tennis racket.Still, you *can*you'll be able to come up with gifts that not only
purchase gifts that encourage them to improve inmatch your child's interests, but also help to
areas in very subtle ways. For example:For yourimprove his fine and gross motor skills, academic
sports nut who hates to read, consider buyingabilities, social skills, and more. So, go fire up that
just one book--maybe one that highlights the lifePlay Station (yes, it *can* be helpful for eye/hand
of his favorite sports hero. Make sure you choosecoordination!) and use playtime on it as a reward
one that is at his current reading level.For yourfor good behavior.All in all, match the right present
socially shy one, buy a packet of movie ticketswith the personality of your child--not the child
and promise to take her a few times a monthyou hoped he would be--and make this his best
with her choice of friend. Suggest that she pickholiday ever!For some great gift ideas for children
someone whom she'd like to get to know better.and adults with AD/HD, visit Matlen, MSW.,
Add a "promise" note that you'll also spoil themACSW, is a psychotherapist and consultant
both with treats from the refreshment stand.specializing in AD/HD in adults. She is the director
Sometimes kids have trouble "figuring out" how toof and is the author of "Survival Tips for Women
play together, so spending time at the movieswith AD/HD".A former long term board member
would be a great way to break the ice.Does yourof the Attention Deficit Disorder Association
child hate sports because of poor coordination?(ADDA), Ms. Matlen is a popular presenter at local
Sign him up for karate or other similarand national conferences, with a passion for raising
self-defense class. Many ADHD kids really excelawareness of the special challenges women with
here because they are not expected to competeAD/HD face, and the unique issues parents face
in the same way as in, say, football or basketball.when both they and their children have AD/HD.
The self-discipline is extremely helpful, too, in